2019 Word of the Year

     Every time I come to write these posts, I'm in awe with how quickly the previous year passed and it's always crazy to think back on the things that happened. How I've overcome the obstacles that at one point might've kept me up. All the blessings that surprised me as I made my way through 2018. And also how well the word I selected last year fit into the theme for my year. For 2018 I had selected the word Self. I wanted it to be a year that I focused on me and my personal growth and in some ways I did an incredible job and in other parts I know I'm still a work in progress. What I do know about the year was that I learned so much about myself. I passed my first board exam, I started the last half of my medical school journey and I grew in ways I never expected. With all that up my sleeve. I'm very hopeful for what is to come this year.

     With all of the self reflection from 2018, what I learned is that sometimes I need to just take a step back. Of course being action oriented and trying to make things happen have their place (hello, that's the Type A drive that got me into medical school), but there are times that you just need to let go of the outcome. Let go of the expectations of how something is supposed to happen and trust that no matter what, what will come to you will be the best thing for you. I could go through my life and tell you all the times that I didn't get what I wanted or when what I got was so much better. How my shortcomings lead my to my greatest victories and that sometimes when you think things are falling apart they are simply doing so, so they can fall into place later. This is something that I reflected on a lot this year and what has inspired me to choose the word Trust as my word for 2019.

    This next chapter in my life is going to bring so many opportunities and excitement. This year I embark on my last full year of medical school (I graduate in the spring semester of 2020!) as well as applying for residency and deciding where I want to spend the next three years of my life. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I've gotten to this point when it feels like I had just put on my white coat for the first time yesterday, but it is so nice to see how far I've come and how close I am to the finish line. With all this change on my path I want to trust that everything is going to work out exactly the way it needs to. To trust that I can do anything that I set my mind to and that I am being guided to where I need to be, and I know it might not be easy. I am definitely someone who wants certainty in everything, so I'm challenging myself to just go with the flow this year and just trust.

    I hope everyone had a beautiful 2018 and I hope that 2019 brings you everything that you could ever desire.

- Gen<3

Sunday Reflections

For a while now I've been thinking of how I could do more with my blog and although I enjoy the posts where I share my advice on getting through medical school, I also just want more informal reasons to write. And the other day it finally came to me...Sunday reflections. The whole point of Sunday reflections is for me to share a little bit more about my life as well as have a chronicle of where I am in my journey. The whole intention of starting my blog was for me to have something to look back on years from now, so I think Sunday reflections will be a great way for me to share what's been going on recently, where I am in school, and maybe just random thoughts/anecdotes that I'd like to share. A lot of this stems from the fact that one of my favorite things is to learn about people. I love to hear their stories. How they grew up, what excites them, and why they do the things they do. I feel like understanding people allows for us to have a better connection as humans and serves as the foundation for deeper friendships. So in the spirit of promoting that, I am choosing to let people hear more about my story.

This probably has to be one of my favorite times of the year. I know a lot of it has to do with my birthday being in November and with Thanksgiving bringing my favorite people together. My birthday always serves as my reset point for the year. I love to look back and see what has changed since my last trip around the sun, the lessons I've learned, and the people that have come and gone along the way.  And Thanksgiving is always the time that I take a pause and look around to see all the things that I have in my life and everything that I've been blessed with. This picture speaks volumes in those regards.

I won't tell the full story as it's not just mine to share, but over the past several years my parents had their fair share of hard times. So believe me when I say that this house has been a beautiful blessing for them and every time I take a walk to the backyard, I'm reminded how everything seems to work out in the end. On another note, I remember for years wishing that I had a place to run.  Our old house was set in the middle of a forest preserve and our street was the only street for miles. It was beautifully secluded, but not the ideal place to hit the pavement. When they showed this house to me, I fell in love. I'd always wanted something like this and I couldn't believe I was finally getting it.

This was the first holiday that we were celebrating in our new house and I was really happy that it was the one where we get a chance to celebrate the things that make us thankful. It was a great start to all the memories that we'll get to create here and a chance to look back on how far we've come. And that has been the thought that has been on my mind the past couple weeks. My birthday week I just felt so thankful that I have been blessed with incredible people in my life, friends and family that make me feel so loved. And of course how far I've personally come on my journey.

I'm currently three weeks out from being half-way done with my third year of medical school and I honestly can't believe how fast the time has gone by. Next year at this point, I'll be interviewing for residency and deciding where I would like to spend the next three years of my life and that's both exciting and terrifying. Either way, I know wherever I end up it'll be where I need to be.

Clerkship-wise, we are at the midpoint of our pediatrics rotation and so far I've been loving every second of it. I was a bit nervous at the beginning that I was going to change my mind and that all these years of saying I was going into peds was a lie, but I swear the past couple weeks have felt like coming home. I have worked with the different residents and attendings and it feels like I've found my people. I think it also helps that my patients are adorable and even when they just come in with colds I'm delighted to see them. But, it does make me excited to start residency and finally getting into the good part of my career.

For this Sunday, I hope you are reflecting on all the good things this week had to offer. The things that make you grateful in this life and all the things that you still have to look forward to.

-Gen<3

Internal Medicine Clerkship

     When I was picking my schedule for M3 year, I was a bit nervous to start off with IM as it's known to be one of the more challenging clerkships. But, I knew that it would be a great foundation for the rest of the year and that my knowledge from boards would carry me through. I'll be honest, I didn't think I would like IM, so another reason I wanted to have it first was so that I could "get it out of the way." But to my surprise, I was a bit sad to end my rotation.

What is Internal Medicine?

     

     I feel like for the longest time I didn't quite know what it was, but IM (internal medicine) is the medical specialty that focuses on the prevention, treatment, and diagnosis of adult diseases. It sometimes gets confused with family medicine, but family medicine doctors also see pediatric and Ob/Gyn patients in addition to their adult patients. Although some family medicine doctors work on inpatient (in the hospital) medical services, a bulk of the doctors that see patients in the hospital are the internal medicine docs (the internists). Internists act as the team captain of a patient's medical care and call in specialty services for more complicated cases. This is due to the fact that internal medicine doctors deal with complicated patients, so of course, they aren't expected to be experts on every part of the body. There are specialists (e.g. Gastroenterology, Hematology/Oncology, Infectious Disease, Nephrology, Cardiology etc.) that handle those cases where the patient's care is outside of the internist's knowledge base. That being said, internal medicine doctors do know a ton and a majority of their patients have multiple active problems to manage, so they have to know how to treat the patient in a way to get these problems stabilized, so the patient can safely go home.

     After residency, internal medicine doctors can choose to do inpatient (as a hospitalist), outpatient (in the clinic),  a combination of inpatient/outpatient medicine, or do a subspecialty (like those specialties mentioned above). So, many doctors that know that they want to specialize in a particular area of the body will train as an internist and then continue their training with a fellowship in their area of interest. In that way, internal medicine is a great way to explore the medical subspecialties if you know that you want to practice adult medicine.

     Before discussing the rotation, there are a couple things that I think I should define for the novice med folk as well as the non-med folk. In inpatient medicine, "rounding" means that you go and see your patients as a team. Who is on your team depends on how the team is structured. At community hospitals, a team consists of at least a senior resident and two interns (as well as a teaching attending for some parts). And in my case, I was the medical student on the team. At an academic hospital, our team was pretty large. We had an attending, a third-year resident, a second-year resident, two interns, two sub-Is (4th-year medical students doing their acting internship), and two medical students. When we "pre-round" that means that you go and see your patients on your own prior to rounding as a team so that when you round with the attending doctor (the doctor that oversees the work of the resident team) you are ready to present your plan for the patient.

     Finally, the last term to define is "call." If you've watched any medical shows or have seen any of the jokes about being a doctor you've heard the term being "on-call." What it means in general is that you are the doctor or the team that is in charge of patients at a given time and that you are contacted to care for them. In internal medicine, what it means to be on call depends on your hospital. At my community site, Being on call meant that your team would stay past sign-out to care for the patients until the night team showed up. We were also the team that responsible for responding to codes and accepting new admissions from 3:00 pm until the night team came in at 7:00 p.m. (we didn't accept any admissions to our team prior to 3:00 pm though) At my academic site, we were on call from 7:00 am to 7:00 pm. We accepted all new admissions, responded to codes, and if there were admissions overnight after our call, they would go to our team until the next team started their call the following morning. And being "post-call" means that it is the day after you are on call. If you did overnight call that means that you are just coming off being on call for the whole night and you probably didn't get much sleep if the night was busy. Thankfully, we didn't have to do any overnight calls as M3s, but it is something to look forward to in residency.

Rotating Through As An M3

          The specifics of your internal medicine rotation will depend on what your school requirements are, but I believe most internal medicine clerkships are between 8-12 weeks in duration. Our school happens to have affiliations with many of the community hospitals in the Chicago, so our IM rotation was an 8-week rotation split into 4 weeks at an academic center (our home institution or the Veteran's hospital) and another 4 weeks at a community hospital with one half-day a week spent in an outpatient clinical setting during the entire 8 weeks. For my clerkship, I started with 4 weeks at a community hospital and ended with 4 weeks at our home hospital. Personally, I had a great experience at both, but the vibe from each experience was a bit different.

     At the community hospital, the schedule was a bit more consistent and we only had one call day a week. On the weekends, I only had to come in when my senior resident was working. If she worked on Saturday, I was off on Sunday. Our weekend day usually consisted of us rounding on our patients together, I would work on my notes, and then as soon as I finished, she'd send me home. The goal was to get out early on the weekends and I'd say I was usually always done before noon. I definitely appreciated starting off with a schedule like that and I definitely missed it when I was on my second month of IM.

What my community month schedule looked like:

- Monday-Thursday (regular, non-call days)

• 6:30-7:00 A.M. - Get sign-out from the night team, look up labs, ask the night nurse if there were any events overnight, and jot down some notes for the patients I was following.

• 7:00-8:00 A.M.- Round with my team on our new/critically ill patients. Our teaching attending would come around to see the new patients and this is usually when she would pimp me (a.k.a ask me questions about my medical knowledge...I still don't know why they call it that lol)

• 8:00-9:00 A.M.- Morning Lecture. This was usually on a topic that the residents were learning.  Occasionally, we had our own student lecture instead, but either way, they were focused on teaching us a topic in medicine (i.e. EKGs, Treating a patient with heart failure, etc.)

• 9:00-12:00 P.M.- Finish rounding on the patients we didn't get to see before morning lecture, work on coming up with plans for our patients, call consults, and work on notes. 

• 12:00-1:00 P.M.- Noon lecture. Same as above, but usually for these we had our own student lectures.

• 1:00-4:00 P.M- Finish notes and prep everything for sign-out to the team on call. Sign-out was scheduled for 3:30 P.M., but sometimes it happened later depending on how many patients we had on our team and whether it had been a busy day. As a medical student, they usually sent me home by 5:00 as long as I had finished my notes.

- Call days: Same schedule as above, but the day was longer and we were in charge of responding to codes.

• 3:30 P.M.- Get sign-out from other teams (there were 5 teams, so on-call days you were carrying all those patients until the night team came in)

• 3:30-7:00 P.M. - Take all new admissions, respond to pages for any of the patients we were caring for, and prep sign-out for the night team.  Any new admissions got distributed among the teams the next morning according to how many patients each team had, so even if we admitted them while we were on call, that didn't mean they would all get admitted to our service. We didn't really present patients to our attending, so post-call days were just like regular work days.

    As you can tell, an average workday was about 10+ hours depending on the schedule. On the days that I had clinic, I usually stayed until 6:00 p.m. And usually, I was at the hospital by 6:15 a.m. every morning (even on weekends). Our call day ended at 7:00 p.m. but I was usually there until 8:00 p.m. But, on an average day I was usually home by 5:00 p.m. Which wasn't too horrible and I really appreciated the fact that my weekend days were pretty light and consistent. That really helped me make it through the month, and as I was busy it really flew by. 

    During my academic month, the schedule was a whole other ball game. We were on call every four days which meant that most of the weekends during that month I was either on call or post call. And as we presented all our new patients on our post-call days. This meant earlier mornings in order to get everything ready to round at 7:00 a.m. (We'd typically come in at 5:30 or so to pre-round on our patients...These were the days I didn't get much sleep). As most of my days off were either a weekend day if we weren't on call or post call, I don't think I had a weekend day that was a regular work day. 

Our general schedule:

Non-call day: 

• 6:30-8:00- pre-round on patients, talk to nurses, work on your presentation.

• 8:00-9:00- Morning report. This is where the chief resident would do a case presentation for all the residents and we worked on coming up with a diagnosis. There was always coffee and for the most part. the cases were pretty interesting.

• 9:00-11:30- Morning rounds. We'd go see all our patients as a team, we'd present to our attending, and if time permitted, the attending would teach us something relevant to the patients on our service. If we had time after rounds, we'd start tackling our task list before heading to lecture.

• 12:00-1:00- Noon lecture. We went to the internal medicine department for a lecture presented by one of our attendings or professors.

• 1:00-5:00-Getting our work done. This was when we'd work on notes, call consults, help the residents with all the work that we didn't finish in the morning. If the day wasn't particularly busy and we had finished the work for our patients, the senior resident would send us home early (3:00 pm or so). 

Call-day:

    The same schedule as above, but we were on call until 7:00 p.m. and the day could get hectic as we were getting all the new admissions and responding to codes. I want to say the latest I ever left the hospital was 9:00 p.m. 

Expectations as an M3

     As this was our first rotation, the expectations were pretty lenient. At this point, we were more so expected to get used to working in a hospital setting after coming off of two years of being strictly academic. They wanted us to get used to talking to patients, working on writing effective notes, presenting patients to our attending, and getting comfortable working on a medical team. What we were allowed to do really depended on our site. At my community site, I feel like my role was more limited. I was allowed to see the patient and write progress notes, but I didn't do much else. My notes were also for my practice and didn't count as much for patient care.

     Since my home institution is a teaching hospital, we were allowed to do so much more. I was allowed to call consults, talk to families, put in orders/meds (they still had to be signed by the residents), and my notes were actually used in patient care. The residents would check over our notes, add in an additional information, and the attending would sign off on what everyone had written. As we were more involved in our patient's care, there was way more pressure to do everything well. As you didn't want to make mistakes in your patients care and look bad in front of your attending. But since they did give us more responsibility, it really helped me feel like I was a part of the team and for the first time what it felt like to be a doctor.

Prepping for the Shelf

   
      Unfortunately, at the end of each rotation, we have to take an exam to be evaluated on what we've learned. This meant that in addition to working a full-time job, we were also coming home to study for an exam. As the breadth of information tested on the internal medicine shelf mirrors that tested on our board exam, it was a lot of information to review. It was the first time that I was in this situation and I handled it as best as I could. It was definitely really hard to have the motivation to come home and study after a long day at work, but somehow I did it.

     As far as resources, most people recommended finding a review book (i.e. Step-Up to Medicine or Case Files) and reading that cover-to-cover in addition to doing practice questions on Uworld. Personally, I am not a textbook person and I found it really hard to get through reading a review book, so I just focused on doing practice questions. I believe there are 1,400 or so questions for internal medicine on Uworld and I got through about 1,000 of them. I used some online videos ( Online MedEd is a great resource) for topics I was weak in before my exam. But, throughout the rotation, I was looking up information on my patients on UpToDate every day and learning that way as well. For me, that was enough to do decently well on my shelf exam and in combination with a great clinical grade it worked out well for my overall grade on the rotation.

My Take-Aways

     As I mentioned at the beginning of this post, I was pleasantly surprised at how much I enjoyed my time on internal medicine. I will say that something that I know really contributed to my experience was that both of my teams were great. I had so much fun with them when we weren't busy practicing medicine that it didn't feel like we were at work. I know this wasn't true for some of my classmates on IM, so your team can really make or break your experience. It was the first time that I really got to experience medicine full on and I loved it. I enjoyed taking part in a patients care and when I was able to get really involved, it confirmed that I had chosen the right field. I won't sugar coat it though, there were some days that were really rough. I spent most of the two months just feeling exhausted by the long hours and worried that I wasn't studying enough for my shelf exam. And the learning curve from being an M2 to being an M3 is pretty steep, but eventually, you do get the hang of it. By the end, I was so tired and ready for a much-needed break (hence the laid-back past five weeks), but sad that I had to leave my team. 

     Overall, I realized that I really enjoy inpatient medicine (clinic is not my fave). I don't mind long days or rounding and rounding will be way more fun when I'm the attending that gets to ask all the questions.  As I had just taken Step a couple weeks before starting this rotation, it was really cool to see the things I had studied in practice. I felt so smart and like I mentioned above, it was the first time in the past years of schooling that I actually felt like I was becoming a doctor and not just studying for another class. And actually working with people was so rewarding when you could see them get better under your care and witness that you are making a difference. At this point in time, my heart is still saying pediatrics (even though my teams were trying to convince me to choose IM...It might possibly be my back up), but IM will hold a very special place as it was where I started my journey as an M3 and where I learned that I do really enjoy this field. It was certainly not an easy rotation, but I learned so much, I had so many great experiences ( I got to do my first arterial blood gas draw on a patient) and I feel ready to take on the rest of my M3 year.

     I know that was very long, but I wanted to give a detailed account of my time on IM. I start my Ob/Gyn rotation on Monday, and I can't wait to share my experience at the end of that.

Take care,

- Gen<3

On My Differential

I realized in my last post that I didn't really touch on anything that has been going on in my life (Whoops!) and I know that part of what I want to get across is that when you're in medicine, your life isn't completely medicine (Well, for the most part haha). As I had mentioned before, the past couple months have been a bit busy as I was adjusting to being in my clinical years and getting used to working a full-time job. Thankfully, students aren't required to work the same hours that the residents do, but some days are pretty close. The long hours coupled with having to study for the shelf exam at the end of each clerkship can lead to long days and exhaustion ( I've always had trouble sleeping and during my last rotation I would knock out almost as soon as my head hit the pillow). I won't lie, some days have been particularly hard. Especially when I come home and I'm just so drained from the day, that even having a bite to eat sounds like an arduous task. But, the days off in between paired with the incredible experiences that you get to witness during your clerkships fuel you during the trying times and help you get back up to take another round in the ring.

So, on that note I want to talk about some of the things that have been on my differential in the past couple months:

1. The End of Summer:

     One of the hardest parts of starting with Internal Medicine as my first clerkship was missing out on having a chance to really enjoy the summer. My internal medicine rotation started in the middle of June and for the subsequent eight weeks, my life consisted of long days at the hospital. My second month of IM was the busiest as I spent most of my weekends on call which meant that I was stuck in the hospital all day. While I loved what I was doing, I definitely got FOMO watching my classmates and non-medical friends post themselves out and about living their best lives and enjoying the summer. And some days it was pretty hard. But you understand that there are going to be many days that I will wish that I am anywhere but the hospital. But, there are also so many times that I am so thankful that I get to live this experience and that this is what I will get to do for a living that makes the tough times worth it and you accept that this is just part of the process.

     Not having a summer also hit really hard with the realization that our true "student" days are over and that from here forward we are just like the rest of the people working jobs. There's no more anticipation of summer break and knowing we just have to "make it through the semester" before having time off. We still get time off, but it's not on a particular timeline and surely not at the length you get in undergrad or for us like we had after our first year of medical school. So it was a bit bittersweet when we came back from our dedicated study time knowing that this was the mark of a new phase of our lives where summer break was no longer a thing and I was now on my way to becoming a real adult. Kinda scary to think about...

2. Free Time

     From what I said above, I didn't want to give the impression that we don't get any time off. You do get spaces where you can schedule it, but it's up to you to choose how. We were given six weeks of dedicated study time to study for step 1. I personally chose to use four of them to study and two of them to relax and take a quick trip before starting my third year. Some of my classmates did use all six weeks to study and only had a day or two before starting M3 year. So, it just depended on how we felt. Apart from that, each of our clerkship tracks have built-in elective space. We get to use that space to either explore a specialty of interest or also just take a break. After my internal medicine rotation, I had a 5-week block to use as I pleased. I took two weeks of break, I'm currently on week two of an ultrasound elective in the emergency department, and then next week I'll have a week off before starting my next rotation.

     As my next block might be a bit busy, I've been really trying to make the most of having free time. I worked on some finishing touches on my apartment (I painted, found decorations, organized the hot mess of boxes I still had around, etc.), I spent time with friends and family (The pic above is from a trip I took with some friends up to Wisconsin for a music festival), I traveled (I went to Key West post step and I had/have some mini-trips to Wisconsin) and then I've just been trying to do things that have been on the back burner for a while (i.e. working on my blog). It isn't always easy to do the latter especially when free time is scarce and you want to catch up with the people you haven't seen in a bit. But, I've been trying to balance between the two and since I had a larger chunk of time off, it's been manageable. That and I keep telling myself that there's never going to be the perfect moment to do things, so you just have to take it a day at a time and try to do as much as you can.

3. Life Changes

     Honestly, the past 9 months have been filled with so many life changes. I took my first board exam, I transitioned from my pre-clinical to my clinical years, I moved into a new apartment, and my parents moved to a new house from the house that I grew up in. All the change has made my life feel like it's been rapid fire, but I feel like now things are feeling a bit more settled. My parents have been living in their new house for a couple months now, my apartment is mostly set up the way I want it, and I feel like I've adjusted to the change of being an M3. I know life is going to speed up when I start my next rotation but for now, it's really nice to just have some time to breathe. It's given me time to just take a step back and see where I currently am and where I'd like to go next because before I know it, my fourth year will be upon us (it's honestly so crazy to think about).

      I've given a lot of thought to what I would like to do in the future. Currently, I'm still heavily set on pediatrics and of course staying in Chicago still sounds really good to me. But, I've also been exploring the possibility of doing my residency in another city. When we took our trip to Key West, my sister and I spent a few days in Miami. On an afternoon that she was back at the hotel taking a nap, I drove around and stopped in at the local target. And I don't know, it felt so interesting to be by myself in a completely new city. Of course, I had the comfort of knowing my sister was back at the hotel, but my curiosity of what it would be like to explore somewhere new was definitely piqued. I really haven't spent much time alone outside of Chicago and I think that it might be a great experience and the perfect time to do so. As of now, If I had to talk about how I would rank things, I would want Chicago at the top of my list, but closely following would be the cities that I'm curious to explore. We shall see.

4. Creativity

     As I mentioned in my prior post, I had really been struggling with my creativity and what I wanted to do with the blog. My initial mission was to provide a resource where people could see what is on the other side of the medical school doors, to learn about the process of getting here and knowing what it's like once you actually make it in. But, that isn't the only thing that I want to talk about.  One of the benefits of having my two high school best friends in the city is that they are not in medicine and when I'm with them, I can completely step away from it. Of course,  I'm passionate about what I do, but that's not all I do and it's not all that I think about. So, when I think about having a creative outlet where I only talk about one aspect of my life, it feels limiting and then I get discouraged. So, I think for me the best thing going forward is to just write what's on my mind. It'll be a little bit of medicine and a little bit of real life, and you can pick and choose what you'd like to read. I think that's a fair split.

    Also, YouTube...It's been a hotttt minute since I've posted anything on there. But, I went and took a peek on my channel this week and one of my videos ( Being a Biology major) had 25k views. 25k!!! I honestly am shocked that so many people took the time to see what I had to say. And it's really been making me want to go back and create more content. I'm still in the process of figuring out what I want to talk about on my channel and how to proceed going forward. But, that's just a thought I wanted to put out there.

     Anyway, I hope you enjoyed my ramblings and this post could probably go on much longer, but I think I might save my other thoughts for a later post. Take care.

~ Genesis<3

From Boards to the Wards

     Hello, Hello! I seriously can't believe that it's been a hot minute since I've written anything. And to be completely honest, it was due to a multitude of things. For one, I got really into my schedule studying for my board exams and when I had the opportunity to write I didn't have the inspiration to spend time creating something that I thought was worth sharing. Going off of that last point, I feel that I've struggled with what I wanted to do with this blog. 

     When I started blogging, it was my way of documenting my journey to medical school as well as creating content in the hopes that it would help someone that was interested in being a medical student. Apart from that, I know when I was applying I loved reading about other people's experience and that made me want to share my own. But, as I came into medical school, I didn't know if my life was all that interesting or if it was blog-worthy. And then another thing happened, some of my classmates started following my blog Instagram. 

     I don't know if it was my way of protecting my creative space or the fear of having my classmates think I'm weird because I like to write about my life and being a medical student, but every time I saw a name I recognized come up with the "is now following you" notification, my heart started to race. Then the thoughts would come in. Do I still want to do this? Do you really want people knowing about your life? Is your life even that interesting to blog about? The doubt kept me from wanting to share what ideas I had and the effort needed to continue creating content was easily excused by the demands of medical school. And that's how we've gotten to the point that it's been nearly 9 months since my last post.

     But, then something happened the other day. I was casually going about my evening when I got a DM from a student that I happened to work with last summer during one of my summer projects asking for help as she was a junior and needed advice on the application process. She mentioned how she had read some of my earlier posts and how they had been really helpful. And the quote "Remember why you started" came into my head.

     Now, I don't consider myself an expert on medical school or anything, but my whole goal with creating this blog was to share what I did know and to let people see my perspective on what it's like to be a medical student in Chicago going to the school that I happen to go to (I don't think I've ever specifically mentioned which one, but I feel like eventually, I might share it). I know that while we go through many of the same core classes and milestones, we all experience them in different ways. My personal experience is my own perspective and I think it'll benefit others to have another perspective of what it's like to be a medical student.

     So is my life interesting enough to blog about? Mmm... maybe. maybe not. Depends on what the person reading it thinks. I think my life can be interesting depending on the day. Do I really want people knowing about my life? If it'll help them, sure. Why not? I personally love getting to know people and I love reading blogs. So, I don't mind talking about my life. Do I still want to do this? My favorite quote and life philosophy comes to mind, "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded." To me knowing that I have helped anyone in any way makes me feel like I'm living out my life purpose. When it comes to friendships, patients, and of course blog followers if contributing what I have to offer helps I will keep doing it. 

     I know this has been a very long introduction to the purpose of this particular post. But, the underlying theme is very important-Remember why you started. Transitioning from my classroom years to my clinical years has been a very drastic change. From spending two years stuffing information in my head and 6 months of intensely trying to learn every detail possible to take a board exam, it's difficult to keep in mind why you're doing this in the first place. The fatigue, the self-doubt, the amount of information that seems to never fully stick in your head no matter how many times you've highlighted it on the page in front of you, makes you question if this is even worth it. But, as I've learned from starting my clinical years, it so is. 

     I want to give my experience on internal medicine its own post, but what I can say is that when you are actually working with patients and when what you do for them really matters it'll all be worth it. I've been fortunate enough to have some really great experiences while going through my first clerkship and I know that it's just the beginning. So, to my students that are just starting out or are quickly realizing that step one is on the horizon, remember why you wanted to go into medicine when it gets tough. Because when you get to the other side of the hurdles you'll see that all the stuff you have to do to get here is worth it. It sucks, but it's definitely worth it. 

    On that note, I'll end this post here as I feel it's getting a bit lengthy, but I'm going to be writing more posts to keep you guys in the loop of what's being going on. And if my classmates are reading this, thank you for the support. As that's how I'll interpret the fact that you're following me or even taking the time to see what I have to say. 

~Gen<3

Word for 2018!

 

      I honestly can't believe that it is time to write this post, because it feels like it was just a little while ago that I was picking my word for 2017. Last year, I picked the word awareness. It was something that I worked (and am still working) on cultivating in my life during the year, and although I still have plenty of work to do on this subject, I feel like I built a solid foundation. For me, 2017 was a year of being aware of the opportunities around me and I can say that I am very proud of myself. It was definitely a year of taking chances and making mistakes, but as one of my recent favorite quotes says,
     "...if you are making mistakes, then you are making new things, trying new things, learning, living, pushing yourself, changing yourself, changing your world. You're doing things you've never done before and more importantly, you're doing something."-Neil Gaiman

     Looking back, I can say that it was a year full of life and life experiences, and to me, that seems like a year well spent. This upcoming year, is already set with many big career-oriented milestones for me (i.e. finishing my pre-clinical years of medical school and taking my first board exam), so when I was picking a word, I wanted it to fit the vibe of the year. And, the other day when I was reflecting on the year with a friend, what I was hoping for this year popped into my head. I want this year to be the year of "Self." Self-focus, self-love, self-development, self-discovery, but especially self-trust.

     For those unfamiliar with the medical field, at the end of M2 year, you have to take an exam called Step 1 in order to progress to your third year. This exam is notorious for being a beast because you are being tested on everything that you've learned in the past two years of medical school. So believe me, it's dauting to think about. But, I always try to keep optimistic that everything happens for a reason and that if I've made it this far, I can make it through the entire thing. I just have to trust that I can do it and let the rest fall into place.

    Apart from school, I feel like it's just a good year to build things up in my life. This past November, I turned 25 and it's made me think a lot about what I want to get out of life. It's rather funny because I feel older, but I know that I still have so much life to live. But, I do feel that turning a milestone age makes you reflect more on where you are currently and where you'd like to go moving forward. So, 25 will be a good year for this. I think it's a good year to spend reflecting on myself as a person and to focus on what I need.

    I hope this year brings you many great opportunities and that you do focus on yourself as well.

Take care,

- Genesis<3 

On My Differential

Hello! Oh my goodness, I can't believe it's been so long since I've taken the chance to make a blog post, but I'm sure we all know what the usual culprit is. I am about a month away from reaching the half-way mark of M2 year and it's crazy to think that 7 months from now I will be half-way done with medical school and on to the wards! This past week has been a bit crazy as I took a lot of time off to celebrate my birthday. But thankfully, I'm not terribly behind schedule and this current week will have plenty of downtime for me to catch up.

1. M2 Year

     I seriously can't believe how fast this semester is going. Like I mentioned above, we are about to enter our final stretch of the semester and I feel like the past couple months have just been me getting used to the new course material and incorporating more of the doctoring part of medicine. As we approach January, Step 1 is going to be very present as it'll be time to get down to business. Thus far, I mustered up the courage to select my test date and now I'll just have to get my schedule ready to start the Step grind. Overall, I feel like I've enjoyed M2 year more than M1. I would say mostly because we've had way more downtime than we did last year and also I feel like I know what I'm doing more so than last year. 

2. Thinking about specialties

     I know it's rediculously early for this, but this semester I've been thinking a lot about what I want path I would like to pursue. I've had the pleasure of working with a neonatologist in the NICU and I've really enjoyed it. I feel like my heart is still pretty set on peds, but I want to keep my options open until I go through my clerkships next year. So far, I feel like the pediatric environment just fits who I am and I'm excited to see more of it next year.

3. Turning 25

     So, I swear I've been on the mindset that I was 25 since January, but last week I officially turned 25. Talking to my friends about it, it feels like a good age. I am still young enough to feel like I still have my whole life ahead of me, but old enough to feel wise about the places I'm going. There's definitely a lot of learning still going on, but I feel I've become more confident in doing the things that I need to do for myself, so that has been really nice. 

4. Gratitude

In my last "On My Differential" post, I addressed mindfulness and that is something that I've been working on. One of the main things that comes up with mindfulness is gratitude and with the thanksgiving holiday coming up, I feel this has been on my mind. I am very thankful for the place that I am in my life and even on the crappy days I try to remember that I am exactly where I need to be. That and I am defintely feeling very blessed for all the great people I have in my life and the opportunities I have been given. So, I just want to carry that with me as I continue on in to the trickier parts of this school year.

I know this was a short post, but I feel like I will want to do separate posts about some of the topics above as well as other things that have come up as I've been going through this academic year. I am still working on what I would like to have on this blog, and I'm hoping I can be a bit better about posting!

Take care,

Genesis<3