Every time I come to write these posts, I'm in awe with how quickly the previous year passed and it's always crazy to think back on the things that happened. How I've overcome the obstacles that at one point might've kept me up. All the blessings that surprised me as I made my way through 2018. And also how well the word I selected last year fit into the theme for my year. For 2018 I had selected the word Self. I wanted it to be a year that I focused on me and my personal growth and in some ways I did an incredible job and in other parts I know I'm still a work in progress. What I do know about the year was that I learned so much about myself. I passed my first board exam, I started the last half of my medical school journey and I grew in ways I never expected. With all that up my sleeve. I'm very hopeful for what is to come this year.
With all of the self reflection from 2018, what I learned is that sometimes I need to just take a step back. Of course being action oriented and trying to make things happen have their place (hello, that's the Type A drive that got me into medical school), but there are times that you just need to let go of the outcome. Let go of the expectations of how something is supposed to happen and trust that no matter what, what will come to you will be the best thing for you. I could go through my life and tell you all the times that I didn't get what I wanted or when what I got was so much better. How my shortcomings lead my to my greatest victories and that sometimes when you think things are falling apart they are simply doing so, so they can fall into place later. This is something that I reflected on a lot this year and what has inspired me to choose the word Trust as my word for 2019.
This next chapter in my life is going to bring so many opportunities and excitement. This year I embark on my last full year of medical school (I graduate in the spring semester of 2020!) as well as applying for residency and deciding where I want to spend the next three years of my life. I still can't wrap my head around the fact that I've gotten to this point when it feels like I had just put on my white coat for the first time yesterday, but it is so nice to see how far I've come and how close I am to the finish line. With all this change on my path I want to trust that everything is going to work out exactly the way it needs to. To trust that I can do anything that I set my mind to and that I am being guided to where I need to be, and I know it might not be easy. I am definitely someone who wants certainty in everything, so I'm challenging myself to just go with the flow this year and just trust.
I hope everyone had a beautiful 2018 and I hope that 2019 brings you everything that you could ever desire.
- Gen<3
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