Hello, Hello! I seriously can't believe that it's been a hot minute since I've written anything. And to be completely honest, it was due to a multitude of things. For one, I got really into my schedule studying for my board exams and when I had the opportunity to write I didn't have the inspiration to spend time creating something that I thought was worth sharing. Going off of that last point, I feel that I've struggled with what I wanted to do with this blog.
When I started blogging, it was my way of documenting my journey to medical school as well as creating content in the hopes that it would help someone that was interested in being a medical student. Apart from that, I know when I was applying I loved reading about other people's experience and that made me want to share my own. But, as I came into medical school, I didn't know if my life was all that interesting or if it was blog-worthy. And then another thing happened, some of my classmates started following my blog Instagram.
I don't know if it was my way of protecting my creative space or the fear of having my classmates think I'm weird because I like to write about my life and being a medical student, but every time I saw a name I recognized come up with the "is now following you" notification, my heart started to race. Then the thoughts would come in. Do I still want to do this? Do you really want people knowing about your life? Is your life even that interesting to blog about? The doubt kept me from wanting to share what ideas I had and the effort needed to continue creating content was easily excused by the demands of medical school. And that's how we've gotten to the point that it's been nearly 9 months since my last post.
But, then something happened the other day. I was casually going about my evening when I got a DM from a student that I happened to work with last summer during one of my summer projects asking for help as she was a junior and needed advice on the application process. She mentioned how she had read some of my earlier posts and how they had been really helpful. And the quote "Remember why you started" came into my head.
Now, I don't consider myself an expert on medical school or anything, but my whole goal with creating this blog was to share what I did know and to let people see my perspective on what it's like to be a medical student in Chicago going to the school that I happen to go to (I don't think I've ever specifically mentioned which one, but I feel like eventually, I might share it). I know that while we go through many of the same core classes and milestones, we all experience them in different ways. My personal experience is my own perspective and I think it'll benefit others to have another perspective of what it's like to be a medical student.
So is my life interesting enough to blog about? Mmm... maybe. maybe not. Depends on what the person reading it thinks. I think my life can be interesting depending on the day. Do I really want people knowing about my life? If it'll help them, sure. Why not? I personally love getting to know people and I love reading blogs. So, I don't mind talking about my life. Do I still want to do this? My favorite quote and life philosophy comes to mind, "To know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived, this is to have succeeded." To me knowing that I have helped anyone in any way makes me feel like I'm living out my life purpose. When it comes to friendships, patients, and of course blog followers if contributing what I have to offer helps I will keep doing it.
I know this has been a very long introduction to the purpose of this particular post. But, the underlying theme is very important-Remember why you started. Transitioning from my classroom years to my clinical years has been a very drastic change. From spending two years stuffing information in my head and 6 months of intensely trying to learn every detail possible to take a board exam, it's difficult to keep in mind why you're doing this in the first place. The fatigue, the self-doubt, the amount of information that seems to never fully stick in your head no matter how many times you've highlighted it on the page in front of you, makes you question if this is even worth it. But, as I've learned from starting my clinical years, it so is.
I want to give my experience on internal medicine its own post, but what I can say is that when you are actually working with patients and when what you do for them really matters it'll all be worth it. I've been fortunate enough to have some really great experiences while going through my first clerkship and I know that it's just the beginning. So, to my students that are just starting out or are quickly realizing that step one is on the horizon, remember why you wanted to go into medicine when it gets tough. Because when you get to the other side of the hurdles you'll see that all the stuff you have to do to get here is worth it. It sucks, but it's definitely worth it.
On that note, I'll end this post here as I feel it's getting a bit lengthy, but I'm going to be writing more posts to keep you guys in the loop of what's being going on. And if my classmates are reading this, thank you for the support. As that's how I'll interpret the fact that you're following me or even taking the time to see what I have to say.
~Gen<3
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